


Retrospective: Fire

by Zaniida



Series: Yearly Retrospectives [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Person of Interest (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Compare and Contrast, Contemplation, Frustration, Gen, Interdimensional phone calls, Losing Allies, Mild Swearing, Out of Options, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Season 4 (POI), looking back, out of time, perspective, potentially ableist language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:40:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26734492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaniida/pseuds/Zaniida
Summary: Two cities are on fire -- one literally, one symbolically.Two men (Tony Stark and Harold Finch) are trying to put out those fires.  With a chronic lack of time, resources, and allies, the best they can do is offer a little emotional support across a quick interdimensional phone call.This is a personal message to my readers from both major fandoms; even if you tend to avoid crossovers, I hope you'll at least read the notes.ETA:First chapter is a conversation between Harold Finch (POI) and Tony Stark (MCU).  Chapters 2-4 are simply a bunch of preview clips from work I've already written but haven't yet gotten into shape enough to post, sorted by fandom (POI, MCU, and then everything else).  If you're curious about my upcoming fics and chapter updates, come take a look!
Relationships: Harold Finch & Tony Stark
Series: Yearly Retrospectives [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1234658
Comments: 19
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MulaSaWala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MulaSaWala/gifts), [tilla123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tilla123/gifts), [Crazy_Cat_Lady](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Cat_Lady/gifts), [Achika_pl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Achika_pl/gifts), [EndlessStairway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndlessStairway/gifts), [IMelopsittacus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IMelopsittacus/gifts), [Ioga](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ioga/gifts).



> At the end of 2018, my Retrospective noted: _I've been chronically running on five hours' sleep most nights_. And then it said I'd come back and update the notes when I had a chance, which apparently I never did.
> 
> I didn't take my own advice from that fic; I'm still juggling too many projects. But at least I'm getting better sleep.
> 
> This installment's theme is " **everything's on fire and I'm cut off from all the support I used to rely on**." Had this posted on New Year's Eve of 2019, as planned, I would be looking back at it going "why the hell did I think 2019 was so hard?" But it's 3/4 of the way through 2020, and this feels like a good summary for the past 1.75 years.
> 
> Unlike the previous Retrospectives, this time I'm juggling _two_ fandoms, and the conversation turned down some unexpected pathways. So while the key frustrations are the same between the characters and me (lack of allies/support/resources, trying to do too much at once, and an unstable world), the specifics are character-based, not writer-based. (E.g. there's nobody in my life who's done anything like Steve did to Tony, and I have no guilt/regrets on par with either character's backstory.)
> 
> Anyway, it's time, again, to thank those who've helped and supported me through the past two years. The "gift" part of this fic is less about the fic itself, and more about highlighting a few faces among the many, my friends and fellow fans who have meant so much to me during this time.
> 
>  **IMelopsittacus** , let's start with you. Not so much because we've been in frequent contact, but because you're the one who suggested a crossover between Tony & Harold or between their AIs. I've been working from that concept while trying to write this, and it turned out quite fruitful; thanks for the idea ^_^
> 
>  **MulaSaWala** , my dear friend: My greatest skill is in the use of words, and yet they are inadequate to convey what you mean to me at this point in my life. Thank you for your support, encouragement, and companionship, especially when I doubt myself.
> 
>  **tilla** and **Crazy_Cat_Lady** , I have much enjoyed working with you, and your reactions to my tales are a thing I return to many times when I need a boost of energy. Thank you both for putting up with my slow beta reading.
> 
>  **Ioga** , I wish I had the time and energy to be in contact with you more frequently; our conversations have meant a lot to me. You give me a much-needed sense of perspective, and I'm glad that we've been able to weather the moments when our expectations unexpectedly clash. I truly value your friendship.
> 
>  **EndlessStairway** , I include you as the author who's continually engaged me over the past year, both via writing and via our interaction in the comments section. Your material may be the kind I wouldn't recommend to sensitive readers, but it's always great to wake up to a notification of a new installment.
> 
>  **Achika** , I'm still tickled to have become a recurring character in a fan comic, even before you knew what I looked like. Our conversations have been quite enjoyable, and I look forward to many more. (At some point I'll have to go back through our emails, because I'm juggling way too many projects right now, and I've completely lost track of what we were doing off AO3.)
> 
> And for all of you, I hope you're managing to stay safe and relatively sane during the Year to End All Years. I've heard the curse "May you live in interesting times"; well, here's hoping 2021 is a bit less "interesting."

“Hey, Mr. Peabody, you there?”

Silence greets him, but then, Tony hadn’t expected an immediate answer.

Beneath him, the streets and rooftops flash along, cars and bikes and pedestrians, thousands of people crossing his awareness for a fraction of a second before they’re gone. The population of the Big Apple, most of whom he’s never even met, and yet they’re all relying on him, relying on his skill, his ingenuity, his effort.

And who has he to rely on? A handful of trusted allies, none of them in the area. Those he used to rely on are off on their own missions. Some of them aren’t even allies anymore, and others are so busy that they don’t even return his messages except once in a blue moon.

In a city of eight million people, he’s feeling… lonely. Cut off. There’s no one free to help him, and he’s feeling drained enough to need… something. Support. Camaraderie. Someone who’s going through a fraction of what he’s been through in the past few months alone.

“Peabody?” he persists. And then, with impatience bubbling up in his chest: “Finch?”

A change in the comfort noise, a sudden ear-jarring _click_. “Yes, yes, I’m here.” The half-hidden irritation in Harold’s voice is enough to give Tony a much-needed grin.

“Were you just waiting for me to stop calling you ‘Mr. Peabody’?”

“Shockingly enough, Mr. Stark, I have things to do with my time other than waiting on your every communique. Things over here have been, shall we say, a bit stressful, and I’ve found it difficult to focus with my attention divided in so many different ways.”

Following FRIDAY’s readings in his HUD, Tony swoops around toward the north, the signals getting clearer, narrowing down. “Is your New York on fire? Because mine’s on fire.”

“Well, not literal fire, though the analogy seems apt enough.” Harold pauses. “Are you placing an interdimensional call while you’re literally fighting fires?”

“Flying between fires, and fighting the things that are _making_ the fires, but yeah. Got, like, eight minutes before the next one manifests,” he adds, double-checking the time in his readout. Yeah, he’ll be there in time to clear out any civilians. Barely.

“Do be _careful_ , Mr. Stark,” Harold admonishes, and Tony can just picture the look of horror on the face of a man he’s never actually seen.

* * *

Rubbing his aching neck, Harold starts sorting out multiple apps and windows as he tries to keep track of the conversation. It’s a few minutes he can ill spare the attention for, but then, he’s used to multitasking. He _is_ a genius, after all.

Tony’s voice comes across surprisingly clearly, for coming from a place outside their reality. “You ever feel like there’s too many emergencies and not enough resources to handle them all?”

Whipping through one keyboard command after another, Harold’s fingers never pause, but he does huff. “Frequently.”

“God, I miss JARVIS. This all wouldn’t be so hard to take if I still had him to help manage what’s left of my life.”

“You… you lost your ASI?” Harold asks, his heart clenching in sudden distress.

“It’s complicated,” Stark replies after a moment. “He’s still alive. Sort of. Just… experiencing the world for the first time. He’s got better things to do than hang out and be my butler, and I don’t begrudge him the opportunities, just… what we had together was… irreplaceable. And I’m reminded of that every time I turn around.”

An Artificial Super-Intelligence surpassing its creator’s design… coupled with Stark’s insistence on terming his creations “alive,” the very idea sends a thrill of fear down Harold’s spine. Despite his seemingly idle fancies that the Machine might one day grow enough to choose its own name, Harold finds it difficult to even _imagine_ a future that maintains human lives and free will while also making room for a truly sapient ASI.

And yet… his own creation seems, for now, to value humanity and human choice even more highly than the parameters he’d set for it. Given how thoroughly the Machine has surpassed both his expectations and his nightmares, Harold has all but come to the conclusion that it is, in some sense, alive. Though he’s tried to deny it even to himself, what else could account for its behavior? He set the goal of protecting the Numbers; the Machine found ways to do so more efficiently by working around its own limitations. He set the goal of self-preservation; the Machine went so far as to invent a human alias and move its own hardware into hiding.

What more need it do to prove some level of autonomy and self-awareness? The fact that Harold finds the prospect terrifying does not alter the reality of everything his creation has become.

“God, I miss my _team_ ,” Stark says fervently. “You know, I used to appreciate flying solo. Never thought I would need—or want—a team, but now it feels like… the stuff that used to be easy is so much harder as a one-man job.”

That, too, hits home. Being drawn into a friendship with Nathan, unwillingly at first but then coming to enjoy his company, to rely on him. Drawing John into the mission, while his attempts to maintain distance faltered and fell apart, until at last he found John equally irreplaceable. For all Harold’s intent to remain solitary and self-sufficient, he’s time and again come to realize the unparalleled benefits of a trustworthy partner.

And then… losing them. Permanently or temporarily, it has always felt like tearing out vital organs. How apt that the first loss left him crippled in body as much as spirit.

It’s a moment before he can pull himself out of his own head long enough to address Stark’s comments. “Are you the only one left?”

“Oh, I get a little help here and there, it’s just… you know, I was about to say that we’re more at odds than my original team, but that’s thinking too highly of the original team. Half of which are in hiding or in prison, and we… we had a little falling-out.” The surface amusement at the apparent understatement does little to disguise the darkness behind the words, though Harold can’t quite make out whether he’s picking up on animosity or self-deprecation. Possibly both.

“The ones who supported me,” Stark continues, “they’re off infiltrating terrorist rings and running countries and such, so New York’s protectors are down to just… me.”

“Dear Lord.”

“And Pepper…” A ragged intake of breath comes over the connection. “Pepper’s off handling things in a life that doesn’t include me anymore. I can’t even begrudge her taking that step—it’s gonna improve her life, it’s just…”

“Everyone’s leaving you behind,” Harold concludes sympathetically, almost without thinking.

“Yeah. You ever feel like that? Like it’s the holidays at boarding school and you’re holding a one-man snowball fight because your parents can’t be bothered to pick you up this year and all the other kids went home.”

Harold takes a deep breath, and sighs it out again, pushing back thoughts of his own father, of how teenage Harold got to share one last heart-rending conversation with the remnants of his dad’s mind. Of how other kids were attending prom while Harold was reinventing his identity and forging out into a new life, three steps ahead of the government hounds and a charge of treason, with no allies or resources other than his exceptional mind.

There are, of course, much more recent parallels to Stark’s situation. “What’s left of my team is entirely in hiding,” he admits, “as am I. To avoid getting imprisoned or, more likely, killed outright, we are forced to avoid each other. And yet, like you, we are all that stands between this city and disaster; no one else can act on the information we have, and the situation has become unmanageably dire.” He swallows. “The falling-out, though, hits a little too close to home. As does the feeling of being abandoned by those who were supposed to have your back.”

“Yeah? Captain Boy Scout beat me to a bloody pulp and left me for dead, after lying to me about his friend, the serial killer, who is, not incidentally, the one who killed my parents. My dad idolized the guy, but it turns out he’d sooner protect my dad’s killer than protect his son. Got anything comparable?” Then, a bare moment later: “I’m sorry, I just… it’s pretty fresh. I kinda hope you _don’t_ have any basis for comparison.”

Harold sighs, and rubs the spot between his eyebrows. “Unfortunately, I do. Mr. Reese did indeed leave me, and it nearly resulted in my death. But I’m afraid that in my case, the one at fault was me.” Closing his eyes, he tries not to picture the disappointment, the betrayal on John’s face. The way that John had just… shut down. “He discovered that I had lied to him… or, more precisely, that I had withheld information, knowing full well that he had a right to know. It was my actions that had, however inadvertently, led to the loss of a woman most dear to his heart… and I knew that before I even met him face to face.”

Part of him wants to add that he did everything in his power to save John’s love, but of course that’s not true: He did not know of her plight until far too late, and he _could have_ known, were it not for his own indefensible decisions.

Had he chosen differently… he could have been there in time.

“I was… I was trying to protect the world,” Stark says after a moment, almost as if he hadn’t heard Harold’s words. “Trying to protect the people I can’t live without. And it all backfired, and I didn’t see it coming. Almost couldn’t stop it. And the fallout…” A shuddering breath. “God, people like me should not be allowed to just make these kinds of decisions. It’s too much power, not enough checks and balances. I thought… somehow I thought he’d understand that.”

A well of sympathy cuts short any reply that Harold might make. His own checks and balances, however well-intentioned at the time, have led to unimaginable tragedy, and yet he can see no flaws in their structure, only in their application toward a flawed world and the flawed people who inhabit it (not even excluding himself in that equation). So often, he’s been made to question his personal rules, to consider amending them, only to remind himself of what led to their creation in the first place.

How greatly he fears a day he might abandon them altogether.

“—just assassinate potential threats from afar,” Stark is saying. “Boom, dead, no judge or jury, just remote executioner. Hundreds of thousands of targets, maybe millions, and it _almost happened_.”

It takes a moment for Harold’s brain to grasp the image, but it’s a chilling one, and shockingly close to his own fears for the future now that Samaritan has been unleashed. Targets marked for death by the merciless algorithms of an artificial superintelligence whose only goal is to improve the world, with no allowance for human freedom or the sanctity of every human life.

They’d fought so hard to prevent Samaritan from taking over, and yet it had come to pass. The Machine had even laid it out for them, the one way to stop it, had left that decision up to its creator, and Harold… Harold had fixated on his lines in the sand, let one man live and, by that decision, condemned thousands.

 _I was trying to protect the world. And it all backfired_.

“Nobody should be allowed that kind of power,” Stark continues. Then, after a pause: “I guess that was Steve’s point, too, just… on a different level. Who gets to decide these things. Who gets sacrificed on the altar of necessity. Can’t save everyone, and he was… trying to protect the ones he cares about, just like I was. No matter what the cost.”

Through tear-blurred eyes, Harold pictures the bridge, with Grace on the far side. The peculiar happiness they’d found together had been sacrificed, leaving her heartbroken but safe, and yet it hadn’t been enough. If things had played out differently, he would have laid the world at the feet of their enemies… because with Grace as a bargaining chip, Harold would have broken every moral standard he’d ever held rather than see her harmed.

“You know the worst part?” Stark asks, breaking his train of thought. “Working together for the better part of four years, I’d finally started to see Steve for who he really is, not just the guy who stole my dad’s attention. Started to like the guy. Somehow I’d thought we were becoming friends, and then he—”

 _Three minutes to expected manifestation_ , comes a woman’s voice across the line.

Stark sighs heavily. “Well… guess that’s all the time I’ve got to whine about my life.”

“Do be careful,” Harold manages, before the line goes dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I could've done more with the concept, especially if I had more POI fresh in my head, but I'm out of time and out of patience with this piece, and it feels complete _enough_. But there's actually a lot of overlap between the casts, and I found that intriguing; maybe someday I'll do more with the crossover.
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to get this posted before the end of the month here, because it's my intention to use it for a rundown of projects: which fics I'm still working on, what's the holdup, and which updates to expect. So that ought to show up in the next couple "chapters" here, as a bunch of preview clips (I have a lot of things written, I just don't have them put together enough to post).
> 
> And yeah, the absence of my beta reader does feel like Tony losing JARVIS and Pepper both. We were so, so good together, and I hope that we get more chances to enjoy that dynamic, but scheduling has just been against us the past couple of years.
> 
> Having other beta readers is useful, but also frustrating, because of mixed expectations. The one thing I _don't_ need for beta reading is mechanical help: grammar, spelling, punctuation. My rough drafts may be a bit of a mess, but all that mechanical stuff gets fixed up long before publication. What I need fresh eyes for is flow, pacing, characterization, dialog, a sense of whether anything's particularly confusing or needs to be fleshed out. And canon knowledge (since in most fics I try to stick close to canon) and research (I can fall down research rabbit holes, particularly with medical scenes -- I like my medical data to be fairly accurate and not too misleading).
> 
> _Several of my readers have offered to help out, but I've lost track of who offered. If anyone is still interested in beta reading my upcoming work and has time during October or November, please do let me know in the comments here, and specify what sort of stories you'd be most comfortable helping out with (or, conversely, which ones you'd prefer to avoid)._


	2. POI Previews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets from the _Person of Interest_ fics I've been working on, and an explanation of what's holding me back from updates with each piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [Open Chapterfics](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1098849) series lists 14 in the POI fandom.
> 
> Notably, I had mentioned _If this list ever gets above 12 entries, just shoot me in the head. (Or, say, write a cameo of a chubby woman with colorful hair and a colorful vest who gets killed. Possibly gruesomely; I'll deserve it. Make my last burbled words unfinished.)_
> 
> Oh well.
> 
> Halloween is the deadline for earning votes from my [July Prompt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25014925); anyone who posts a fill gets to vote on my [Voted Focus Fics](https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/899210). As they currently stand, the votes are:
> 
>   * **10 votes: On the Other Side of the Mirror**
>   * **8 votes: Buying Time**
>   * **7 votes:** _Tremble and Serve_ (MCU)
>   * **6 votes: Nippitaty**
>   * **6 votes: The Toll**
>   * **3 votes:** _Moments Like Stardust_ ( _Star Trek_ )
>   * **2 votes:** _To the Victor, by Consent of the Spoils_ (MCU)
> 

> 
> So _Mirror_ , _Buying Time_ , _Nippitaty_ , and _The Toll_ are high on my list of priorities. However, we're back to that missing beta reader problem: Three of them need a good brainstorming session, so none of them have even part of a chapter written. ( _The Toll_ is doing a bit better in that regard; I've had the next section planned for ages, just gotta write it.)
> 
> Beyond those four, we've got the Creepyfest entries: _Unseen Things_ and _To Be There in Time_. TBTiT has a planned progression and a finite end that's not too far away; no idea how soon we might see an update.
> 
> I've nearly two chapters written for _Unseen Things_ ; hope to post one tomorrow. I've known from very early on where I want the story to go and how the ending works, it's just a matter of wrangling the story to get there. Will we see the climactic moment during this October? Who knows.
> 
> Then there's _Everybody Wants Finch_. Mula has finished the art for the finale; I just need to color it up. (The extra chapters listed are rough drafts of the published chapters, which I need to delete.)
> 
> The FMI fics: _Five Moments of Interest_ and _Shared Spirits_
> 
> I just need to sit down and explore the themes. Nothing big holding me back, beyond the usual.
> 
> The AUs: _Strange Bedfellas_ , _A Little Help_ , _Manipulations_
> 
> I've struggled with the next chapter of _Bedfellas_ for months, off and on. I have all the pieces, but it's not coming together into a coherent whole. Bugs me.
> 
> For ALH, I've got some notes but nothing much written. Unlikely to be updated soon; does need a brainstorm.
> 
> I knew from the start that _Manipulations_ would never be finished; it's just too big of an idea. I still would like to add a chapter or three, and maybe a Notfic explanation of how the rest might've gone.
> 
> The rest: _Bargains_ , _Five Fans_ , _Waif_ , _Truths Unwhispered_
> 
> I still intend to finish up as many of my fics as possible; I don't like seeing fics remaining unfinished, especially traumatizing ones like _Waif_. I'm especially eager to complete the fourth part of _Bargains_ (the massage).
> 
> With _Five Fans_ , I want to take my time and get it right. I do have an idea where the next part goes (and how the fifth character gets introduced), but I'm largely playing the plot by ear.
> 
> In addition to all that, I said I'd write follow-ups for any of my [2018 Monthly Prompts](https://archiveofourown.org/series/908421), and six of those got fills. I've got some more Sims characters to create, and a long-belated Typo Spotter Reward Drabble. Also need to work on post-processing for two podfics (only partially posted so far) and the POI vids that I recorded with my nephews this summer.
> 
> …did I miss anything?
> 
>  **Content Warning:** One of the clips down there has a character assuming that the other character will kill him. Another clip is from a fic that deals with Mature Content, but the clip itself talks around the subject pretty effectively, I think. I'd judge these previews **Teen and Up Audiences**.

## Shared Spirits

“A good portion of what I do is psychological. I’m just one man, with a handful of devotees and a few dozen followers; I couldn’t have achieved a fraction of what I’ve done if people weren’t afraid of me. And bullets aren’t nearly as intimidating as explosions, or fire, or poison.”

* * *

## Strange Bedfellas

Anthony snuggled him in a little tighter, tucking his chin in behind Harold’s shoulder, and murmured right into his ear. “Drive for a few hours, connect via app, give some meg the weekend of his life. ‘City alph seeks country meg’—you know. Romantic fantasies and all. Don’t need to worry about them stalking me back to the city, and they don’t need to worry about the social complications of hookups in a small town.”

Put that way, it’s obvious—and prudent.

* * *

## (Upcoming Marconi Fic)

 _This was originally meant to be a Gift Fic, but I couldn’t get it together in time. I did get a couple pages written, and since it’s meant to be a short piece and has a definite ending I’ve already conceived of, it’ll likely show up during another round of Gift Fics_.

They’d aimed their threats at him instead of Elias, which had been amusing enough; they clearly hadn’t known what they were dealing with, and were amateur enough that they couldn’t even read the body language of boss vs. bodyguard.

Of course, that had made him underestimate their threat level, which was how he’d gotten blindsided. Stupid. But he can be mad at himself later.

With one hand against the wall, Anthony struggles to his feet. He puts his feet as close as he can and tightens the zip tie, then puts his heels together and ducks into a crouch; the zip tie snaps on the first try, and he’s free. Still slightly groggy, but that’s probably the concussion, and there’s not much he can do about that now.

A quick check tells him that Elias isn’t seriously injured, though he does appear to be out of it—most likely drugs, but at least he’s breathing fine. His hands and feet are likewise tied. If he was awake, he could probably manage the same steps to get free, but Anthony isn’t about to leave him vulnerable that long.

* * *

## Five Moments of Interest

“Should’ve just let me keep talking,” Zoe says, her voice a bit strained. “He would’ve backed down; I had enough leverage.”

“Yeah, well, sorry for not trusting your talents when a drug runner’s got a gun in your face.”

Zoe holds back for a moment, looks around. “West—three blocks,” she says, and as they turn onto the street she straightens up, doing her best to walk as if she’s not injured. “And do you honestly think I never deal with potentially lethal situations? The most powerful men in the city come to me for advice, and that’s everyone from the politicians to the drug lords.”

As they wait at the crosswalk, Joss grins morbidly. “I suppose I should feel lucky that you’re not in bed with Elias yet.”

Zoe chuckles. “Taught me five variations of solitaire and how to make a mean marinara. And I don’t sleep with clients—hard limit.”

* * *

## Truths Unwhispered

With Sameen, it was all sparks and fire and flowing energy merged into glorious sequences of combat or banter or sex, the kind she happily flashed back to in the quieter moments, or that gave her the strength to keep moving when her own energy was all but gone. Those moments were treasures, but they weren’t the only kind of “in love” she knew.

And, again, her mental model of “love” was highly suspect, but she understood that you could love someone, and want the best for them, and be willing to die for them, without being in love with them. But surely that was a baseline: There were three people in her life that she loved unreservedly, that she’d known less than five years and yet would instantly surrender her life or her sanity to save.

Her feelings for Sameen, for Harry, for the Machine… the way she fixated on them, the way her thoughts were never very far from any of them… the way that their conversations felt more like communion, and she never got weary or bored while in their company… the way that she never grew out of the desire to share with them, more and more and more of herself, her inner world, as much as she could risk without driving them away… never stopped wishing that she could go all the way, reveal her whole self, laid open on the table for them to examine, as if she could ever dare to be that open, or trust that they wouldn’t turn on her…

This wasn’t just normal love. She was _in love with_ these people. Because this couldn’t be anything less.

* * *

## On the Other Side of the Mirror

_This piece got drafted before certain changes happened, so it's possible it won't survive the rewrite. But I find the exchange quite interesting:_

Shaw shook her head. “The alternative explanations aren’t exactly kid-friendly, Harold.”

Harold found it a little difficult to trigger a swallow, but eventually managed. He breathed some more; Shaw stayed silent, still looking at him.

When long minutes passed without Harold managing to put together anything like words, Shaw backed away a little, out of his line of sight, perhaps thinking it might be easier that way. Another minute passed in silence.

Finally, Shaw said, in her inimitable flat affect, “Did John have to watch?”

Harold struggled with the urge to sob, aware that half his face was trembling with the effort.

Shaw gave him the time to compose himself, and then some. And people told her she had no bedside manner, Harold thought once he had some objectivity again.

“Okay,” she said, finally, drawing out the word as if she needed that much more time to think. “First things first: Whoever did this to you, are they still an immediate danger we ought to be on alert for?”

Harold squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, wincing at the twinge in his neck. “I… I don’t think so. They made their point.” We’ll just have to wait until John can communicate to figure out what point that is.

* * *

## The Many Kidnappings of Harold P. Finch

 _Although I don’t have the next part of Buying Time written (I’m actually kinda stumped on what the next scene is supposed to be; very much playing it by ear), I do have notes as to future “episodes,” and I’m much looking forward to the possibility of writing the one where Finch gets captured while tailing Marconi. When Elias shows up, Finch is convinced that John is dead and they’re going to kill him next, and all Elias’s assurances feel like lies_.

_But, the piece I’ve actually got rough-drafted a bit is much later—it’s for the chronologically earliest episode, RAM:_

“Most people wouldn't admit to that. Especially knowing what I just did to a traitor.”

“I think I know what you're trying to determine, and I don't care to prolong the inevitable. Am I a threat to national security, just by being alive, knowing what I know? Yes, because the secret must not get out. I can't even tell you enough of it for you to make your own judgment call about its necessity. There are many who would want it, if they got the slightest inkling that it existed. They'd want me, in the hopes of prying it from my head, and I'm not foolish enough to think that I could resist their techniques for long. My only defense is staying hidden, and, well, I've not only compromised that by my own actions, but trusted in the wrong man, and consequently let slip to certain parties that there's a secret they would pay dearly for. It's only a matter of time before someone finds me.

“So you see, the question you're trying to ask is, would killing me be the best move to protect national security? And the answer would be yes. It is the only way to ensure that the secret never gets out. I have no final requests, and I trust you'll make it a clean kill.” He sits there, trembling, aware of nothing so much as her silent presence behind him.

Suddenly, he blurts out, “Wait!” And before he can reconsider the possible fallout of letting this slip, he adds, “There’s… there are people who would recognize me, if my photo appeared in the paper. If you could… if you could disfigure my face enough, or destroy my body to avoid that eventuality… I would be grateful.”

* * *

## Unseen Things

“Who’s SuitedNightjar?” Will asks, his casual weight on the back of her chair tipping her slightly off-balance.

Not more than the question does, though. Wide-eyed, she turns to stare at him.

“You can—wait. What all do you see on the screen?”

He blinks, then shrugs and looks closer. “ _‘I try not to miss them, but it's difficult not to focus on what I’ve lost. You and Elias are a most necessary balm for my very sanity. By the way, he’s invited us to a game night on Friday, just the four of us; shall I accept?’_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if I’ll ever get around to filling out the series, but _To Be There in Time_ and _Nippitaty_ are both entries in the supernatural version of _Bargains_ , AKA One Bargain Harold Could Not Agree to (and Five He Could). TBTiT is the Chapter Zero entry, meaning that Harold _will not agree to the bargain_ ; it’s a Creepyfest fic, so it’s gonna end with a bittersweet/tragic finale.
> 
>  _Nippitaty_ is also Creepyfest, so its ending may be bittersweet or tragic; I’m not yet sure of how I want that final chapter to go. I do know that one of my reader/fans is totally invested in her vampy Elias ^_^
> 
> Also, there are a few pieces that are "complete" but where I'd like to go back and fix them up or redo them. This is very low priority.
> 
>  _Best-Case Scenario_ is on hiatus; if I never complete it, at least it _feels_ complete, but I'd never intended to leave John in that state. Assume a positive ending.
> 
> For _Obedience Is Bliss_ , I've wanted to go back and rework the ending, see if I can flesh it out a bit more. It was rushed due to the Fic Exchange deadline, and I think I could do more with it. Still won't be "Shippy" exactly, but less of a Fade to Black.
> 
> Lastly, _Five Moments in the Park_ , the one where the POI cast interact with people who are homeless. I got my attention called to some problems with the way I've dealt with the issues, and on top of that one of the characters is clearly _not_ homeless (whoops), so I'd kinda like to rework it. Again, though: It's complete, that'll do for now, I have many other things with much higher priority.
> 
> As far as upcoming pieces, I've got plans on a few one-shots. A couple more FMIs, for starters: one for Nathan (had hoped to post during August, clearly that didn't work), and a Gender Bender FMI for Fusco and Donnelly (which has taken up some troubling real-world issues, so I need more focus to be careful how I handle the debate).
> 
> Then there's another piece set in the Daisy AU, wherein Harold negotiates with Daisy to try to find a better middle ground for her treatment of John. It's been a very interesting piece to lay out, and I've got a general overview written.
> 
> [Ladies' Bingo](https://allbingo.dreamwidth.org/167087.html) is up, and I went ahead and got a card because I'd been planning a Bechdel-Wallace POI set for a while now, just giving the POI ladies some air time. Figured it might help me focus on those pieces. The deadline is March, though, so I doubt I'll be doing anything with it before the end of the year.
> 
> Lastly, a prompt on "wake from nightmare" led me to develop a piece where Reese keeps dreaming that he's killing Finch, and eventually his therapist recommends a technique where you rewrite the ending to your nightmares. And when Reese has trouble with this, Finch helps him out. I haven't yet worked out where I want to go with this, except that I know how this scenario would play out in the hands of a Shipper ("lemme replace that trauma with sex"), and I know I'm gonna try a different tactic. But I really like the idea ^_^
> 
> So... that's a general summary of my _Person of Interest_ WIP, and information on various issues that are holding things up. That's not even counting how much my Muse is invested in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (I knew from the start that the MCU would monopolize my time; that's why I put off watching the films until astolat dragged me into the fandom). Or general anxiety and the state of the world these days impacting my productivity. Or how I've been modding _Stardew Valley_ and am gearing up for another YouTube series. But… that's where I'm at right now. Hope the info's helpful '^_^


	3. MCU Previews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets from the MCU fics I've been working on, and an explanation of what's holding me back from updates with each piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [Open Chapterfics](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1490789) series lists a dozen in the MCU fandom. That list is slightly outdated.
> 
> Halloween is the deadline for earning votes from my [July Prompt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25014925); anyone who posts a fill gets to vote on my [Voted Focus Fics](https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/899210). As they currently stand, the votes are:
> 
>   * **10 votes:** _On the Other Side of the Mirror_ (POI)
>   * **8 votes:** _Buying Time_ (POI)
>   * **7 votes: Tremble and Serve**
>   * **6 votes:** _Nippitaty_ (POI)
>   * **6 votes:** _The Toll_ (POI)
>   * **3 votes:** _Moments Like Stardust_ ( _Star Trek_ )
>   * **2 votes: To the Victor, by Consent of the Spoils**
> 

> 
> So _Tremble and Serve_ and _To the Victor, by Consent of the Spoils_ are high on my priority list. _Victor_ has most of a chapter written (I've been struggling with some of the dialog and the ending); with _Tremble_ , Tony is about to really put the collar through its paces, so I need to nail down the exact mechanics of the collar, which means I need a good brainstorming session. As my beta reader recently got back in touch with me, I'm hoping to do that soon.
> 
> Beyond those, we've got the Creepyfest entries: _Before the Norns_ and _Reforming_
> 
> For BtN, I've got much of the next chapter written, but it's pretty disjointed; I had hoped to get it posted by tomorrow, but that's unlikely. Still, aiming for a very early October update. I know where the fic is going and the plot archetype is pretty clear; just need to get it to finally mesh.
> 
> For _Reforming_ , I know where I want it to go, but have very little written so far. And the focus is on Loki's visceral experience, so it's really about wallowing inside that feel, and I'm looking forward to writing the next section.
> 
> Then the _Five Moments of Loki_ fics: _Solace on Sakaar_ and _Pass It On_
> 
> SoS is pretty exploratory, so although I've got an idea what each chapter should cover, there's not much written yet. PIO has Loki hunting down each of the Avengers, getting various excuses for why they can't help Thor, and calling them on the carpet for various things; I'm playing that one entirely by ear, with just a general "how the interaction might go" for each character.
> 
> The fics based directly on another fic: _Festering_ and _Reclining Butterfly_
> 
>  _Festering_ requires me to delve deep into the mindset of Loki during astolat's _Chaos War_ ; I expect to be doing this for a different project as well, so I'll likely combine the headspace at that time.
> 
> RB is turning out much longer than I'd expected, and less tied to the FMI format; I'm still planning to hit all five categories of intimacy, but mostly I'm just following the film and seeing how the characters react to it. It's kinda unexpected at times.
> 
> Also: _Glad to See You're Not Dead, Then (Now What?)_ , a side fic for _To the Victor_ ; I have each chapter planned but not much written yet.
> 
> The other Loki fics: _Icy Diplomacy_ , _Hawk vs. Hammer_ , _A Stray Parrot in Queens_
> 
> ID has a good concrete plan, with ideas of what happens to Thor, his friends, and Loki. I've got big stretches written, but nothing approaching a chapter so far. Looking forward to spending more time on it.
> 
> HvH has one or two chapters to go, the first just Thor lacking intimacy with Loki during _Avengers_.
> 
>  _Parrot_ has some solid sections planned and half of the next chapter written.
> 
> The Avengers-centric fics: _Subverting the Dominance_ , _Somehow I Miss Box Socials_
> 
>  _Dom_ has a good section of the next chapter written. SIMBS I have a good idea for but haven't yet written more.
> 
> The fics that don't include Loki: _Growing Memories_ , _Turtles in a Bottle_
> 
> GM's next chapter should be Morgan's POV, but I have yet to figure out the focus.
> 
> TiaB has a lot of BINGO prompts to meet, and I know the basics for each; just gotta put time in.
> 
> Dunno if I've missed anything, but it's late and I'm tired.
> 
>  **Content Warning:** I'd judge this set of previews good for **Teen and Up Audiences**. Some of it is disturbing by implication, but I think teens should be able to handle it.

## Icy Diplomacy

“There are matters that I must attend to, and they cannot wait. When I am able, I will give you all the answers you seek; I know I owe them to you. Until then, know this: Whatever else you are, you are still Loki, first and foremost.”

* * *

## Glad to See You're Not Dead, Then (Now What?)

For long minutes he held her tightly; she clutched at his body, as if to reassure herself of its solidity, and he marveled at how far she had come since the dead-eyed assassin that Clint had inexplicably chosen not to take out, but to bring in.

* * *

## A Stray Parrot in Queens

“In ten minutes, he showed more concern for my person and my feelings than I’ve ever gotten from the man I once called ‘Father’. If there is anything I can do to aid him, in any capacity, that boy has my loyalty, for the rest of his short life.”

* * *

## To the Victor, by Consent of the Spoils

“I must admit to some confusion; were you not the one who explained how greatly humans value their freedom to choose? And yet now you beg me not to allow the choice. You ask me to surrender every possible pleasure of victory; is my offer so unreasonable? No, my dear lady, I fear that in this, I cannot bend.”

* * *

## Tremble and Serve

_I have this in one set of notes, but I'm having trouble finding it in my rough drafts for this fic. But it's still a better clip (less spoilery) than the next best choice, so:_

The last time they’d been alone together, Tony had been collapsed at Loki’s feet; Loki had picked him up by the throat and thrown him out a window. He’d barely survived, and not just from the fall; he’d spent over a week with severe neck pain, barely able to lie down, on muscle relaxants and off alcohol (Pepper had confiscated Tony’s entire stash, and then had a Talk with him about how she wasn’t going to clean up his dead body after he suffocated himself by mixing alcohol and prescription pain meds).

A lot of Tony’s nightmares still involved getting tossed around by a guy in too much leather and a self-confident strut.

* * *

## Before the Norns

Loki has always been good at spotting Thor’s more foolish plans, sometimes even before Thor knows he’s decided upon them. He’s shaking his head frantically, pushing backwards against the unyielding grip of the guards, but there’s nowhere he can really go.

When Thor’s hand finds the juncture of shoulder and neck, Loki squeezes his eyes shut and sobs into the gag.

It hurts like nothing Thor has ever felt before, and Thor instantly wants to pull his hand away; his whole body tenses up. But he can master himself.

* * *

## Solace on Sakaar

“I don’t think either of them ever grasped the darker side of Sakaar.” Retrieving his own bottle, Loki leans back and idly studies the colorful shaped glass. “Thor wasn’t there long enough, Bruce wasn’t even allowed to experience the place, and the Hulk was too busy enjoying all the adulation he never got back on Midgard.”

The Valkyrie huffs. “You know, I spent…”—she looks up, considering—“far too long on Sakaar, I don’t even know, and I ran across races from all over the Nine Realms and beyond, but… I think you’re the only Aesir I ever ran into, aside from your brother.”

Loki’s lips twitch, but he doesn’t correct her terminology.

“So that makes the two of us, quite possibly, the only Asgardians who have ever experienced the heights—and depths—of the Grandmaster’s tender mercies.”

“That one, I’ll agree with, and may we never cross paths again,” Loki says, and takes a deep draft, enjoying the burn all the way down.

* * *

## Pass It On

 _I'm still debating if this'll make it into this fic, or end up getting ported to something else. But it's a detail that bugs me about the Snap and the Unsnap_.

“Half the people on Earth just died. That’s not the sort of thing you bounce back from.”

“Half…?” Loki stares at him, mouth hanging open, for a moment, then shakes himself and stands a little straighter. “My dear captain, your numbers seem a bit… off.”

Steve stares back, like he’s waiting for a punchline.

“One snap,” Loki says, “and half the cars on the road suddenly have no drivers. Half the cars on the road simply crash. They kill passengers, bystanders, people in the other cars. Whole families die because Mummy was taken out first, and there was nobody left to protect the children.

“One snap, and half the pilots in the sky are gone. Say that each airplane has a pilot and co-pilot; fully one quarter of the planes have just lost both. Maybe there’s someone on board who could fly the plane, but there’s a fifty-fifty chance that they just died, too. Or perhaps the chaos on the plane ensures that no one even gets a chance to try. There’s, what, ten thousand planes in the sky at any given time? Twenty-five hundred just went down, and it wasn’t a controlled landing; all the passengers and flight crew died.

“One snap, and half the doctors are gone.”

* * *

## Reclining Butterfly

“You, uh, you never know how much time you’ve got, do you?” Master murmurs. “You think they’re going to be there forever, and then you get to a certain age and you realize that yeah, they’re gonna die—someday—but ‘someday’ ought to be decades in the future, not… they walk out that door and just never come back. The mom and dad who you thought would always protect you can’t even protect _themselves_.”

The undercurrent of anguish cuts through the fog in Loki’s brain, pulling up memories: The guard informing him of Frigga’s death. Odin turning to stardust right beside him.

 _This day, the next, a hundred years—it’s nothing! It’s a_ heartbeat. _You’ll **never** be ready_.

Thor, who should have outlived Loki and ruled Asgard for millennia, being torn apart by nanites, reaching out toward a horrified brother who had no way to do anything but watch.

“Right before he died,” Master says, “I was in one of those ‘I don’t even care’ moods. Acted like he wasn’t even in the room. Almost wish I’d said something nastier, anything at all, instead of just… nothing. And then… he was gone.”

Before Loki can stop them, the words spill out, as they hadn’t that day: “I couldn’t… I couldn’t even say anything.”

There was just too much between them, too much to put into words, to hash out in the little time they had left. Loki had felt it long before Thor caught a clue: the waning of a life, the pull of Valhalla on a soul that had overstayed its welcome in the mortal realms.

 _And then he was gone_.

“Your dad?” Master asks softly, and the tears spring to Loki’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two MCU fics on hiatus: _Acceptable Loss_ and _Cuckoos_.
> 
> AL should eventually have an epilogue of Odin's letter explaining his decision, along with Loki's reaction to it (and the effect that Odin's heart has on Loki on a physical and supernatural level).
> 
>  _Cuckoos_ was originally meant to be a one-shot, but the more I think about it the more I want to write at least one follow-up piece.
> 
> As far as upcoming pieces:
> 
> Creepyfest should open with a delightfully dark look at how Thanos might have bent Loki to his will. Pure torture, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.
> 
> There's another piece that I may or may not get started this October; it's definitely gonna be a Creepyfest piece, but it depends on how much headway I make with the other pieces. It's based on the "force Loki into marriage" genre and will be another dark piece with a dark ending.
> 
> Then there's a large Jotunheim fic that struck me a couple weeks ago: By the time Odin shows up on Jotunheim, the rest are captured, and Odin's weak enough that he collapses, but Loki bargains to get the Casket if Laufey will spare the lives of Odin and Thor. This leads to Loki negotiating with Laufey (in this piece, they're not related), and eventually Loki has to make some hard decisions about what he's willing to sacrifice in order to preserve the peace that his brother nearly destroyed.
> 
> So far, it's a fascinating piece that I'm much looking forward to writing -- the Muse really took it in hand, putting together an extensive piece in about three days, including a bunch of Jotun physiology and genetic inheritance that led to some intriguing worldbuilding. I just want to close down a few fics before I go opening up another huge one.
> 
> I've also got a few little prompts and such that may or may not show up during Creepyfest this year. Anything else, anything big, is waiting on me closing down some of the Open Chapterfics, because dang it, I already have more than two dozen open pieces and I need to stop opening new ones for a while.


	4. Alt-Fandom Previews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets from upcoming fics that are outside my main two fandoms (POI and MCU).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of my alt-fandom pieces are gonna be FMI fics; you can find most of them [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626043).
> 
> The only alt-fandom piece currently voted onto my [Voted Focus Fic](https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/899210) list is [Moments Like Stardust](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19054861) ( _Star Trek_ ). If you'd like to see me update anything else quickly, well, votes are given to anyone who posts a fill for my [July Prompt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25014925) by Halloween.
> 
>  _Stardust_ has been planned out as one chapter per live-action series. I've already chosen the character pairs, and have an idea as to the focus for each chapter (as it's an FMI), but it comes down to getting in the right headspace and a bit of research on the less common character (thankfully, YouTube and sfdebris are usually quite good at going over the material I need).
> 
> Other fics that I've got open at the moment:
> 
>  _Recettear_ , _Stardew Valley_ , and _My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic_ each have an FMI fic with only one posted chapter. FIM and _Recettear_ have five planned chapters each (with about half a chapter written so far); the SDV one might have two chapters or might get three. Very much the sort of fics that get updated when I need a break from my normal fare, and otherwise get left on the shelf.
> 
>  _A Fugitive in Stardew Valley_ , my SDV Let's Play, has been recorded to a certain point, including some audio, but I got stymied with the post-processing and so it went on hiatus. I am currently considering starting over from scratch, now that I've gotten into modding the game and have found many amenities that would make it easier to achieve what I wanted with the series. This includes being able to swim, sit on chairs, and change clothes mid-game. I've also got improved graphics (including character portraits), more options for crops, and narrative expansions for several characters... plus the game is now a mix of English, Spanish, and Finnish, which I find delightful.
> 
> Anyway, the prospects of a series reboot are looking up, but I doubt I'll be recording it before the new year.
> 
>  _Slayers_ has my one fic, _Bound_ , which is partially written and has a good sense of where it's going. I initially drafted it out as a play script, so I've got a ton of dialog, but need to turn it into prose.
> 
>  _Welcome to Night Vale_ has its FMI list fic, which is partially written; unfortunately, it requires me to go through the episodes and transcripts and focus carefully on the details and what Carlos might pick up on, which is time-consuming.
> 
> Most of my alt-fandom stuff is quick one-shots, so there's not a lot that's currently open (for which I'm quite relieved).
> 
> Anyway, have some snippets of upcoming work. **Content Warnings:** This is a mixed bag of all sorts of stuff, from the fluffy to the dark. But I've tried to keep it from getting _too_ dark.

## A Fugitive in Stardew Valley

 _A clip from what's already recorded (and why I need to be able to switch clothing during gameplay):_  
After all the chores were done, I looked in despair at my muddy clothes and decided that I was going to have to find a way to wash up... and just hope that nobody visited the farm while I was naked. I filled the watering can and hid behind some trees. This late in the day, the water was pretty cold, and I didn't even have any soap (that was another thing to pick up from Pierre), but I managed to get myself and my clothes reasonably clean.

* * *

## Five Moments of Friendship (Recettear)

Nagi teaches her how to wash her hands with a little ladle. “Everything here has been placed to create a sense of tranquility,” she explains. “Even the steps of the ceremony create a quiet bond between the participants. When you learn the steps, you know just how to act, so there is no awkwardness, nothing unexpected.”

* * *

## Five Moments of Friendship Is Magic

By the time Twilight has gathered eggs, fed the pigs, washed the sheep, pulled weeds (after she’d learned to tell the difference between the weeds and the carrots), checked all the grape trellises for any necessary repairs, swept out the barn, scrubbed a wagon, hung up the laundry, painted a shed, mowed the lawn, and put all the tools back in their proper order, she’s about as exhausted as she’s ever felt in her entire life.

Also _famished_. As the food gets set out for lunch, she finds herself _drooling_. “I’m _so_ ready for this day to be over,” she says as she begins to load her plate.

“T’ain’t hardly noon,” Applejack counters. “That’s when we start tending to the orchard.”

* * *

## Bound

“The second easiest plan would be much less secure: Find a way to make these wards permanent, and then leave me here and never return. ”

“Killing me is the most effective plan?” Zelgadis asked, with his usual level of dry snark that betrayed little of the fear and turmoil within him.

“The fewest parts that can go wrong,” Xellos said. “Now that you’ve bound me to this place, I cannot leave until you release the spell. You’ll forgive me,” he added with a half-smile, “for hoping we can achieve a plan that doesn’t leave me trapped here quite so long.”

* * *

## Things to Get Used to in Night Vale: A List

Water. There is none. No bodies of water. No wells. No bottled water for sale.  
No rain (219 days). Does it ever rain here? They schedule sandstorms.  
But: Harbor and Waterfront Recreation Area (“maybe wait until a flash flood”)  
 _(possibly not a thing? should look into this)_  
Old Town Drawbridge  
Citizens have umbrellas with sturdiness ratings. What are umbrellas _for_ here?

 ~~Angels~~. ~~They’re not angels~~. Are they angels?  
We’re not supposed to ~~know~~ _admit to knowing about_ angels.

City Council Elections  
 _Family members kidnapped and taken to abandoned mine shaft outside of town_.  
 _Actual kidnapping or mere ritualistic play? Is “torture cubicles” a code phrase?_

Horrified by haircuts? Possibly only Cecil. _Note: Cecil mostly bald. Possibly upset over losing his own hair?_  
 _Note: This is a_ desert _. Much hotter than I am used to._ Such _a relief_.  
 _Note: Concerned about the barber. Barber shop apparently burned down_.

* * *

## Upcoming FMIs

### ElfQuest

When Crescent was taken from him, Strongbow gave himself over to the wolfrage—it was better than having to come to terms with the knowledge that he would never again feel her arms around his neck. More than that, though, was the loss of the one person who could understand him without words, even more clearly than her mother.

When Bearclaw fell to his own rage, Strongbow grieved in silence; other wounds were too fresh for him to lose himself again. His chief’s body was gone before they got there, and even as Strongbow worked with the others to kill the great beast, he kept coming back to the reality that he never would be able to hunt a bear alongside the man he’d always looked up to, the one whose stubbornness had spurred Strongbow on to master the bow.

* * *

### Buffy

 _Contrasting Spuffy with Bangel; I'm firmly in the Spuffy camp_.  
When she’d come straight from the grave, wounded, disoriented, Spike had dropped everything, instantly, to help bring her back to herself, bandaging her hands with tender fingers, as if wishing to give her some warmth he no longer possessed. In that moment, it had felt like there was nothing in the world that mattered to him aside from her and whatever she might need.

And all Angel’s romantic overtures, and even the times he stood beside her in battle, never made her feel respected and cherished in the way that Spike had made her feel, lying next to her throughout the night, letting her move at her own pace and take only what she needed, giving her the strength to face the end of the world.

* * *

### Tangled

The last time she got seriously hurt--falling from one of her climbs--she’d been six or seven, and her mother had been so freaked out that she hadn’t left the tower for weeks, and it had been years before Rapunzel worked up the courage to try climbing anything taller than her waist.

By now, she’s an accomplished acrobat, and well beyond that clumsy stage.

But sometimes she misses being hurt, missing her mother dropping everything to fawn over her like she was the only thing that mattered in the world.

* * *

### Slayers

It’s been so long since he’s had a good meal.

The mortal food sustains his form, but he longs for a taste of hate, or fear, or jealousy. All the savory flavors of human suffering, and of the darker parts of their nature that they disguise even from themselves. Wandering through humanity had filled him up just from their day-to-day misery, and he had never stopped to think that one day that might all be… gone.

Or, at least, he’d expected that the end of humanity would also be the end of everything, and thus he’d never prepared for a hereafter.

* * *

### SCP Foundation

“I see what you mean about not having neighbors, though. Put them near a few D-class prisoners—”

“Indeed, sir. He’d end up compelled to commit all the crimes that put them on death row.”

“Okay, so, set them up in a facility nowhere near other people. Any other considerations?”

“We’ll need to be careful with the food distribution. Gray can’t feed himself, and he only chews or swallows when one of the other four is doing so.”

* * *

### "Mama Stella"

“They said I ought to shave it off if I can’t keep it combed,” she sobs into Mama Stella’s apron. “Why did God make me so ugly?”

“Oh, my lambkin,” Mama Stella murmurs, holding her tight, “don’t think that. You mustn’t think that.” After wiping Miranda’s eyes, Mama Stella smoothes her hair and sighs. “You know, when I was little, I wished I had curly hair. I don’t think I’d ever seen hair as curly as yours, but I wanted curls like Shirley Temple. You know what my mama told me?”

Still sniffling, Miranda shakes her head.

“There’s so many types of beauty in the world, it would be a shame if we were all the same. Like if all the birds looked like swans, then we wouldn’t get to see any chickadees, or loons, or herons, or owls, or teals and blue warblers and red-headed woodpeckers. So many lovely birds, but they’re lovely in different ways.”

“I’ve never seen a… a teal,” Miranda says as Mama Stella leads her to the den.

“Well,” Mama Stella says, “I can’t show you the bird, but I can show you the color that got its name from its feathers.” And she digs out her pastels.

* * *

## Upcoming Night Vale Fic

“But… you fear him.”

“Yes. But I will not let my fear stop me. I seek to _understand_.”

The council stirs. “Understanding is dangerous.”

“It is. Understanding is the _most_ dangerous thing. But there is nothing more important.”

* * *

## Upcoming Lost Fics

### First

He’d never been burned before, not even as a little kid; he was always too careful, too cautious, too used to thinking before he acted. He knew the punch of a bullet, the pierce of an arrow; he’d been countless times bruised and bloodied, but none of it had ever felt like this.

### Second

“Would it be fair to say, Jack, that your key goals include the life, safety, and freedom of the people in your little group?”

“You know _damn well_ they do.”

“But a moment ago, you said that you would be getting ‘all of them’ off the island -- even if it meant letting three of them die. In that moment, the illusion of freedom meant more to you than the lives of three people you supposedly care about. Do you see that?”

He still glares at me, but his expression’s a little less sure. I’m getting more confident of my position here, my tactics.

[…]

“Second to that, I aim to protect the lives of the people on this island. For the moment, this includes the lives of your party. Now, a moment ago, you were so desperate to seize this chance for freedom that you were willing to sacrifice three lives for it. So there are some things that you value more than you value the lives of your friends.

“And the truth is, Jack, that, if it seems necessary, to defend this island and preserve the rest of the lives that take shelter here… I am _far more willing than you are_ to sacrifice lives.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might as well have a rundown of which fandoms I've covered so far:
> 
>  _Welcome to Night Vale_ has three pieces so far: a dark FMI and a podfic (both focused on Kevin), plus Carlos's new list fic.
> 
> For _Slayers_ , I've posted the start of _Bound_ , but I've also got a major fic in the works (was "in the works" before I got distracted by _Person of Interest_ ), and an associated FMI. The major fic won't happen soon, though.
> 
>  _Octodad_ has a short series now ( _Quirky Neighborhood Dad_ ), from the point of view of a neighbor who's fully under that "weirdness censor" mindset that makes it impossible for her to realize that her neighbor is an octopus pretending to be human. I'd like to add to this at some point.
> 
>  _ElfQuest_ has an FMI (Physical Intimacy) plus a cover of a filk song. I also have plans for more FMI fics for various characters.
> 
>  _Stardew Valley_ has an FMI and a Let's Play video series.
> 
>  _Recettear_ might also get a second or even third FMI; I've specced out the possibility for a piece focused on Griff, one for Alouette, maybe one for Arma.
> 
>  _My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic_ might get a second FMI to join the first; I have notes about a possible piece where Spike gets to know Twilight's new friends.
> 
>  _CATS_ has the one fic. I do like the kind of weird AU my brain came up with for that show, and would like to explore it more if I ever have the time. It might weave into something else I'm working on.
> 
>  _Star Trek_ , _M*A*S*H_ , and Disney's _Recess_ each have one FMI.
> 
>  _Saints Row_ has one and a half fanvids (I don't think I've got an AO3 entry for the half-vid). _Harry Potter_ has a couple of skits and script readings my nephews helped me record.
> 
> My "Amateur Hour" fics are those written during college, about twenty years ago, so just a general idea of what I was writing at the time. This includes a couple of _Hunchback of Notre Dame_ (Disney) fics (my major fandom, way back when), plus a _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_ piece, and a piece based on the game _Exile_ (which has been rebooted as _Avernum_ , sadly getting rid of the ability to have a custom six-man team).
> 
> There's also my little Notfic to get rid of a _Criminal Minds_ piece that I'd been kinda hoping to write one day. I am _so_ not in the right headspace to write for many such shows that I used to watch all the time: CM, _Leverage_ , _NUMB3RS_. Still love their characters, enjoy fanvids from those shows, but unlikely to write for them any time soon.
> 
> Then I've got a poem for _Dom Juan_ , just a random kinda thing. I used to crush on Sganarelle (Don Juan's servant), and would love to recreate him in something eventually.
> 
> Lastly, I've so far posted two pieces of Original Work: [Socks and Snowmaids](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743664), and [Cleaning Mode](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213899). The latter will likely pick up some additional FMI pieces to flesh out the character of Mama Stella and her relationship to her son and their neighbors.


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